Who was the big winner of NBA Draft night?
Booze Hound: Dare I say that the Houston Rockets had the best draft this year? A team that somehow wandered into the Western Conference Finals last year snagged two of the biggest names from college basketball. With the pick-up of Sam Dekker and Montrezl Harrell, the Rockets drafted two proven winners with insane motors. Dekker hit big shot after big shot for the Badgers last year, and Harrell dominated his opponents both mentally and physically every single game. Both these guys have some weak spots no doubt, but why not take a gamble on guys who were stars in the USA college game, as opposed some European robot that a team will be playing Russian roulette with.
Cowboy: John Calipari. The Italian slimeball was EVERYWHERE. Just putting on a clinic. While these other clown ass coaches keep trying to implement complex offensive systems and intricate defensive schemes, Cal arrives to Barclays in a golden carriage hoisted on the backs of his myriad of lottery picks. Hey Dakari, you let your king down. 2nd round draft picks don't count in Caltucky.
Orc: T'Wolves, no doubt. Best Big in draft with Towns and good playmaker in Tyus "what color am I" Jones. Rockets 2nd place w Dekker and Montrezl Harrell. Honorable Mentions: Bulls, Warriors, Thunder, Heat, and Knicks.
P&P: THE GODFATHER! Pat Riley you slick son of a bitch you did it again. You tricked you’re beloved Knicks in to taking a string bean disguised as a Euro baller, you destroyed MJ in the front office department again* and there at pick number 10 Justis(c)e freaking Winslow. That dude is a top 5 pick! He’s also a lefty, a more than likely solid two-way player and the poster boy of the revolution sweeping the high school hoops scene that is “The Duke Haircut”. This pick is great for the Heat no matter what happens with D Wade. If Wade is there they have a nice lineup, if not Winslow steps into his role. When it comes down too it Riley hates draft picks and he usually trades them unless he’s got his eye on a stallion and I believe he got his Thursday night.
*MJ’s scouting criteria, “Frank wears a go pro?! I have one of those in my capri cargo shorts I designed! Pick him!”
Who was the biggest loser of the draft?
Booze Hound: Atlanta Hawks literally couldn’t have done worse in my book. What did they do to get better this offseason? Absolutely nothing. If their big plan was to add Tim Hardaway Jr., I have some significant concerns about their front office. They traded away Kelly Oubre, who was there 15th pick, who is a dud pick to get another guy who is a wannabe J.R. Smith. And then to top it all off, they went and got two foreigners who will never take a step onto an NBA court. I hope they are okay with being a mediocre 4 seed in the east for the rest of the decade, because their roster cannot contend with the Cavs or even the new look Heat for that matter.
Cowboy: Trivia question: would you be considered a bum if, when coming out of high school last year, you were ranked higher than Karl-Anthony Towns and D-Angelo Russell, yet you went undrafted last night? Answer: ABSOLUTELY. I’m looking at you Cliff Alexander. Bum
Orc: Grizzlies. RJ was there. You passed. You lose. You stabbed me in the back, which coincidentally penetrated my heart.
P&P: I have 2. First, the Treehouse, it was heartbreaking with RJ sitting there at 25 and then seeing the Grizz turn a blind eye on their needs once again. I think I heard the Orc yell “McNeil!” and bottles breaking when Jarell Martin’s name was announced. You know what, I’ve been sitting here trying to find a loser and I’m just gonna say it. Grizz lost this draft. They had a shot at a shooter with NBA size who the fans could get excited about or an athletic high motor forward in Harrell. Next thing you know President Stevens grabs RJ and they let the Houston Rockets, a team in their division, get deeper with Dekker and Harrell. And I know Hollinger is convincing everyone to give Adams another year to get better, but guess what everybody that dude sucks and Martin is just another Stokes. No, no it’s cool guys A. Harrison will clean this mess up. I’m pissed off now.
Who is your favorite incoming rookie? Why?
Booze Hound: No doubt, my favorite rookie has to be Cameron Payne. I played basketball with his brother, loved his double breasted get up, and he referred to himself in the 3rd person. “There is no ceiling for Cameron Payne.”-Cameron Payne
Cowboy: Easiest question of the round table…Satnam Singh baby! The slumdog millionaire himself defied all odds. For instance, while the average height of a male in Batman’s home province of Punjab is 5’4, he stands at a colossal 7’2. Satnam you double-curry eating sonofagun you! Unfortunately I think Mr. Shark Tank himself Mark Cuban had his own agenda when he drafted the Indian monster. “There’s a billion new Mavs fans out there right now,” stated Cuban following the draft. Marketing 101: penetrate India.
Orc: RJ Hunter. A mid-major kid that excels on the highest stage against the best competition is my boner pill. Pat Connaughton, whitey shooter from the Irish. Also a sicko pitcher drafted high for the MLB. His dunk on Kentucky still gets me hyphee (and I live bet the house on UK). "The only thing on the mind of a shark is EAT". Sam Dekker. As long as he cocks and loads the arm as a shotgun he can be on my team. Rakeem Christmas. He wears #25. Santa's favorite player. .
P&P: D’Angelo Russell. Are you kidding me?! A swagged out lefty in LA with both the highest star potential and highest bust potential based off of Steven Hawkings future player rankings he sees in black-holes. It’s the NBA version of Roulette! But seriously, in this guard driven league Russell could potentially be the start of the modern version of Showtime. The NBA is better when LA is interesting, they may or may not be “good” next season pending free agency, but Russell’s ceiling and flare for the game makes him my favorite rook to watch next season.
Who will be known as the sleeper of the draft?
Booze Hound: For some reason, I think Bobby Portis will have a very successful NBA career. With him being behind Gasol, Noah, and Gibson, he couldn’t have asked for better training. The guy is a monster and he’s from the South, which basically means he is the GOAT.
Cowboy: Terry Rozier. Hard to call a guy that was picked 10 spots ahead of where he was projected a sleeper, but I got a feeling* about this dude. Boston wants to run and gun. Check. Boston wants to unleash a barrage of trey balls. Check. AND the kid jumped into a swimming pool with his suit on the moment after getting off the phone with Danny Ainge. Rozier’s excited to be in green. He puts up a 40 piece as a rookie.
*Watched a couple of his mixtapes.
Orc: RJ Hunter (28th) to Celtics. I see a bright future for this kid. Long and lanky, and can shoot from deep. Joseph Young (43rd) from Oregon. Kid gets buckets.Longer shots: Anthony Brown (34th) to Lakers. Points record holder at Stanford. Gets to stay home as well. Dawson (56th) from Mich. St to Clippers. I like him here.
P&P: I’m gonna stick with the guy I’ve been raving about since I saw Duke play at the Final Four. Tyus Jones. I’m not saying he’s a star, but I think he will be a solid NBA point guard and have a very good career.
Final Thoughts:
Booze Hound: What an uneventful night for the Memphis Grizzlies. We literally drafted the most uninteresting player ever at 25 and then we traded for a Harrison twin. In the great words of Cowboy, last night was an extreme “SNOOZEFEST” for Grizzlies fans. But it sets us up perfectly for Monte Ellis. Get ready Memphis, Mr. Mississippi is coming to town.
Cowboy: Look, Johnny Badger is gone, Koufos will soon be gone too. Zbo is deteriorating and managing his minutes must be a top priority in ’15-’16. There are going to be times where we play are forced to play multiple power forwards together. I trust that Stokes, Martin, and Green(?) will suffice. OR DO I?!? Also… Loved Pat Connaughton to the Blazers. Actually I just love Pat Connaughton. Hated Jeff Goodman. Loved the 76ers philosophy (tallest team wins). Hated Jeff Goodman. Loved Willie Cauley Stein rocking dreads in a post-dreads world. Hated Jeff Goodman.
Orc: I was tickled at the 76ers draft process / {clicks excel column on height} / "yep! Give us that center!" Like how many sorry 6'10"-7' 2" guys can you take in 1 draft? The Philadelphia Goliath Army. Rozier going 16th overall shocked me. I like his game and the pick. Just didn't see it coming. I can see Looney and Lyles being very good for their teams in the future. Winslow dropping to 10th blows my mind. He is the best player in the draft. If you thought you saw Bubba Gump playing basketball, it was Dakari Johnson. I think he should formally change his name to Daiquiri Johnson. If I couldn't pronounce your name (European not Hood-Rich style) you will be a bust.
P&P: Hey Western Conference, they may be TimberPuppies* now, but not for long. My big takeaway from the draft is that Minnesota may have the best young roster in the Association. KAT is going to be so special and he has a great mentor in Kevin Garnett to show him the way. I have been so impressed with the way he handles the media and how mature and professional he is on and off the court. The kid gets it and I wouldn’t be surprised if he has a Duncan-esque career**. Also, I love Tyus Jones, he was a great guy to trade for and he’s from Minnesota so it’s a solid fit. Pair those two up with Wiggins, LaVine, Pekovic then round out the roster with some free agents and we have a new team jockeying for a playoff spot in the west.
*Copyright The White Rat
**HOT TAKE
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There are three things that get me way too excited: Selection Sunday, when Vegan boy pays for all the appetizers at Huey’s and the NBA draft. The spring and early summer months give us the greatest rollercoaster ride for both the avid and casual basketball fan. March Madness captivates the entire nation for three and a half weeks. Next, our bracket hangover is cured by the furious finish of the NBA regular season, spilling over into the playoffs. Finally, the NBA Finals have us sitting back and watching the best in the world solidify their place in history. Then……………………………………………………………………………………. shit, just baseball. Except for one Thursday in late June where the NBA gives the people what they want once more*, hope! Hope to all the fan bases that their team will select the next NBA gem. Every coach, GM, scout, and analyst is looking for the next Lebron, Kobe, Steph, Durant, Harden, Westbrook, fill in NBA comparison. It’s the season of the NBA mad scientist, trying to be ahead of the curve with film study and analytical data the common fan can’t even fathom and this draft has more factors than usual for higher ups to take into account. The NBA game has changed due to Nash’s Suns, the pace and space Spurs and the new look Warriors. The league is requiring a different type of player in order to have success, but I’m afraid the people doing the drafting still haven’t learned from the past. Americans, we’re fascinated by Europe. Baguettes, museums, paintings, culture blah blah blah. It’s human nature to see something different and exotic that gets us intrigued and wanting to go there and experience it. Don’t get me wrong I’ve loved my two visits to European countries. Peppy Le Pew is the pinnacle of cartoon suave and grace. I’ll take their beer, wine and food any day of the week, but they can have their basketball players. Every year Fran Fraschilla brings his Adam Scheftler looking ass over to the combine and raves about 2-3 European prospects that get the scouting world huge Dirk boners. Last year it was Dante Exum, this year we have Kristaps Porzingis and Mario Hezonja. The quotes and the youtube videos have been blowing up the twittersphere, “7-footer who strokes it”, “Athletic guy with range”, “Had great success in the second best league in the world”. Save it. You saw the names I listed above, you know what they have in common? They are some of the best players in the NBA and oh ya they all grew up and played in the States. Here’s another list of names: Yi JIanlian, Darko Milicic, Nikoloz Tskitishvilli, Andrea Bargnani. You wanna know what these jokers have in common?** Well first off they were all selected 6th or better in their respective NBA drafts, currently only one of those names is listed on an NBA roster, all of their NBA careers added up to (insert poop emoji) and lastly, the big finish, every GM who drafted them is now fired! Now guys, I’m not trying to make this USA vs. Errrrrbody***. Yes, I am saying we produce the best because that’s a fact, we clearly have the best talent and players. And don’t give me this bullshit “hey what about Nash, Duncan, Hakeem and Ewing. They aren’t from the US.” Stop it dude, they all played their college ball here and everyone saw what they could do. So, NBA guys, stop over analyzing the college players here and quit over selling the European potential NBA product(Also don’t draft Syracuse players either, that’s draft rule #2). Dirk is a one of a kind, you’re not gonna find that holy grail so stop reaching for it overseas. It’s a draft and no one can predict the future of these guys, but I say play it safe and grab a kid you’ve watched all year right in your own backyard. Actually who am I to tell you what to do, pick the skinny 6’11 Euro, I’ll take the Clydesdales from Kentucky and Duke. * NBA doesn’t give a shit about our summer sports withdrawls, TV revenue>everything **They’re also not American ***Could go on for days about US Bball development vs. European. Maybe another article, get Cowboy’s thoughts as well Other Draft Topics Top 5 Prediction 1. Karl Anthony Towns 2. Jahlil Okafor 3. Emmanuel Mudiay 4. D’Angelo Russell 5. Justise Winslow/Kristaps Porzingis
What I want to Happen 1. A lot of Trades Top 5 Best Players Projected Out 1. Jahlil Okafor 2. D’Angelo Russell 3. Karl Anthony Towns 4. Devin Booker 5. Stanley Johnson
Players I like Picks 15-30 Sam Dekker: For whatever reason his stock is rising. I’ve seen this kid be slotted anywhere from pick 8 to 20. I’m saying he gets picked outside the lottery. Tyus Jones: Love this kid. Dominated out of pick and rolls as a freshman. Has an array of finishes in the midrange and at the rim. Downside is he kinda reminds me of Shane Larkin. Bobby Portis: Hated him for no reason this past college season. Orc and Cowboy opened my eyes to how good he is and why he deserved SEC Player of the Year. The guy is physically a beast, could be really solid in a few years. RJ Hunter: I was absolutely crushing RJ two days ago. Orc said he wants him to be a Grizz. I listened to my threadmate and researched the kid. Dude is kind of a freak. He’s 6’6 with a 7’0 wingspan and he absolutely stroked it againt high D1’s at the King’s camp last summer. Would like the Grizz to grab him at 25. Terry Rozier: Super high on this kid. He’s long, can create for himself and others, he’s been hard coached and he improved his game dramatically from the end of the season til the combine.
2nd Round Sleepers Pat Connaughton: Duh. (Shamrock, Fist emojis) Joseph Young: Guard from Oregon. Very good scorer. I think he could be a solid piece off the bench for a team.
P.S. I’m a Bulls/Grizz fan. Don’t really care right now who the Bulls get, I’ll be freaking out when I know who’s available for them mid draft. Also I’m more worried about Jimmy Buckets future. Really hope the Grizz get someone people are excited about (Jimmy Butler), oh and get someone good in the draft too.
P.S.S. Cliff Alexander declared for the draft?????
- P&P
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